Sex on the first date

The opinions regarding sex on the first date are rather split depending on education, culture, previous experiences and … sex! As a purely formal issue, most persons would decline proposals regarding sex on the first date but, unconsciously, such an approach represents one of the most spread fantasies.

Most people give up the burst of experiencing fantasies due to preconceptions or social perception. “What would people think of me if I do this” women say to themselves, while men are afraid of rejection. A woman is more attentive to what people think about her, to the manner she is perceived, she outlines scenarios about what such a gesture would trigger in the minds of others. Men instead, feed their vanity with such moments, and a rejection might be fatal as far as self-confidence is concerned.
The unknown, by the novelty element, always represented a point of interest, whatever it is reported to. Sex with an unknown person may bring satisfaction to this curiosity, the fulfillment of a fantasy that many dream about. It is said that the most powerful aphrodisiac is “the new”. Even so, it is recommended to take things step by step, regardless of the speed with which you take the steps. Try to discover what attracts you to the person in question and for what would you make that step.
“The higher your expectations, the greater your disappointments.” If you chose such an approach, seize the day, without creating scenarios about what would happen, because, as the saying goes, don’t count your chickens (before they are hatched).
Briefly, sex on the first date has the following benefits: satisfying of some fantasies, experiencing some feelings, discharging of some desires in the heat of the emotion.
it helps you to discover quickly if the partner meets your needs and expectations and to assess whether there is a new dating premises
The perspectives on a sexual experience from the first date are totally different from woman to man.

Women
…would agree to such an experience if they knew it is a quality one, which might materialize in a subsequent relationship. They experiment with a very well determined purpose, they know where or what they want to reach, they have expectations and forelook every action, leaving nothing to chance. Women’s abstaining from appealing to such experiences does not descend from the fact that they would consider sex on the first date as a proof of promiscuity, but from the desire to keep things under control, to appropriately assess the context and person and to make the best decision.

Men
…would agree to such an experience if they knew everything is just a one-night stand.

They act without any planning; they live based on instinct, without forelooking the possible consequences of the experience. Many times, they are even surprised when, after a one-night stand, they are asked: “So, what’s your schedule for tomorrow?!”. The point is that, a one-night stand becoming the starting point of a serious commitment scares them dreadfully, this being the reason why they invent all sorts of reasons, thus flinching from it. This does not mean that, after a certain period during which they reflected upon what happened, they cannot express the desire to meet the respective person once again. In case of men, things seem simpler. Veni, vidi vici is the favorite dictum of men being in such circumstances.
Whatever the approach, as any other experience, sex on the first date is associated with risks and benefits.
But when you weight too much the risks you are exposed to in a particular situation, you might lose sight of the benefits and miss the opportunity to live new experiences which, on their turn, might bring new pleasant experiences of life. On the other hand, by being focused only on the benefits, excluding the risk from the equation, it is possible for an experience that is subsequently proved to be positive to turn into a fiasco. Therefore, it does not matter what you win, it does not matter what you lose, as long as the respective experience is the result of your choice. Afterwards, sex is like dancing; it is important to time your steps with the ones of your partner in order not to turn it into judo!

Psychologist Andreas Hniatiuc